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Blue: The Final Song
Name Check: An Analysis
Parting Message

A Rant: Live-Action Remake

So. Live-action Cowboy Bebop starring Keanu Reeves. Already fans are throwing hissy fits over the matter. I admit, I am one of them.

Okay, so it's not fair to pass judgement before we even get a preview trailer. Still, it's this underlying fear - will they completely ruin the series we all know and love?

I think the nail in the coffin for me is Keanu-effin'-Reeves being Spike. After his bit hit in being Neo in The Matrix, he became pompous - dare I say cocky - and his acting started to feel like it was going on a downward slope to the point where he is bland in delivery of scenes.

Okay, so I might be a bit tough on the whole thing, but you know what? Along with hundreds of other fans, I release a howl of terror - because this series is a classic. It defined itself in ways that hadn't been done before.

Sure, it may spark a revival in interest in the series - it may even draw in new fans who'll be like "wow, that was an awesome movie. You say it was based on some cartoon anime thing? I might need to go check that shit out, yo." Does that matter to me? Not really. Sure, the revival of interest and new fans would be spectacular, but at what expense? In the end, what it the movie only serves to ruin what we all fell in love with? Only time will tell.

It's only a slight reassurance that the original writing and production staff are on as producers and production consultants, and that the director (Peter Craig - didn't he do A Scanner Darkly?) seems to be genuinely into keeping the series as faithful and good as the original was, especially as he kept consulting back to a letter he was sent by (I presume) Watanabe (Bebop is, of course, his best-known baby).

Now, from what I hear of Craig, he can write a kickass script. However, you have to remember - no matter how well his script may adhere to the original feel of the series, it's those higher up that have the final say. The script can quickly be ruined as it gets passed up the ranks and changed around by people who think this and that don't work or are terrible ideas even if they've never seen the series.

My confidence dwindles. Sorry, but I just don't think that this movie will even be semi-decent once it's finished jumping through the hoops.

Also, more emphasis on KEANU REEVES AS SPIKE. AUGGGH FUUUU---- we're doomed. Like, I don't know, pick someone else. Adrien Brody? He seems like he'd work as Spike. He did a brilliant job in The Pianist, don't you agree? Because, and let's face facts here, Keanus just can't act. He'll bring this movie down to such a sub-par level it will make me weep tears of sadness in a degree that I haven't in years. Spike has too many levels to him than bland ol' Keanu can even hope to emulate. Spike is too cool for that.

... pardon me whilst I go into a corner and DESPAIR.

YES KEANU REEVES, YOU AND FOX AND EVERY DAMN PERSON INVOLVED IN THIS PROJECT ARE CAUSING ME TO DESPAIR.

On a final note, what of the music? It won't be the same without the sublime and fitting melodies brought to us by the excellent talent known as Yoko Kanno, a genius in the industry. Folks, we're doomed. I continue to despair.